This morning while having breakfast with the Missus, she thanked me for something that I didn't believe that I deserved any credit for. She insisted. And that led to my thoughts about women and rejection. Before I launch into any discussion of my latest pet theory, I need to tell you what we were discussing.
The Missus is one of the most talented people that I personally know. Over the years, the Missus has demonstrated an ability to work in stained glass (our entire dining room furniture suite was purchased from the consignment sales of her stained glass), pottery (a little), quilting, counted cross-stich, painting (flowers), soap making, raising flowers, etc. We derive a portion of our income from her talents.
Recently, the Missus was contacted by a representative of one of this region's pre-imment artist/craftsman co-ops to see if she would be interested in having her soaps juried to see if the co-op would allow them to be carried in their gift shop. The gift shop is located in a town that is well-known for its large artist community and in general the town's artistic and creative atmosphere. Tourism and shopping are key elements of the town's success.
As soon as the Missus saw the invitation, she was both thrilled and scared! Thrilled to be invited to join, scared to be juried - read that judged! I only pushed a little until she agreed to send them samples of her soaps and Lavender sachets. Even though she gave up nail-biting years ago, the period between mailing in her samples and the results of the jury process, were still nail-biting days! Guess what? All her products were accepted! She has already received her first commission check from less than two weeks in the gift shop.
I knew she would eventually send samples in - my slight pushes were to advance the timeline. So, in our discussion this AM, I eventually told her that it was her fear of rejection by the jury that made her uncertain. She agreed immediately. That was when I burdened her with my pet theory that men have less fear of rejection than women do.
I told the Missus that starting as young boys, men are routinely rejected from many things: Sandlot ball games, team sports, jobs, etc. But most importantly, by women. As young boys we spend most of a school dance working up the courage to ask the "little red-haired girl" to dance with us only to be told "No thank you". The sound of the giggles that only young girls can make as you walk away, red-faced with embarrassment is still lodged in the back of my mind! But most young boys, just like Charlie Brown, try again. And Again. Eventually, you have a dance partner and the many rejections that preceded it are pushed backwards in your mind. And nothing changes for men as they get older.
I believe that men eventually learn that each rejection, while painful at the moment, does not actually kill you. My pet theory is that women do not allow rejection(s) to be pushed very far back into their mind. So when offered the opportunity to be rejected again, women have to sort through previous opportunities/rejections to determine if they are willing to risk this new opportunity.
I could be wrong in my pet theory. What do you think?